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Inquiring minds want to know, how was tunneling through the goddess’s kooch supposed to make mankind immortal?
You’re welcome?
Well… OK then
So, Moana 3 is at least half written. I like the new direction they’re taking it.
That was twist ending worthy of early M night shamamamanamamalan
Apparently knowledge of anatomy was not a part of Polynesian mythology. Even without the teeth, what way out exactly did he plan to take?
Gods are crazy, that’s a given.
My question is, how tf was that going to get humans to immortality?
reverse the birth process
also life in the breath symbology
Outside my window is a mountain. Everyone knows it as Koko Crater. But it’s actual name is Kohelepelepe which is the Hawaiian name for the labia minor. The story is that a goddess, attempting to rescue another goddess named Pele, throws her vagina all the way from Hawai’i island to O’ahu and it lands in this spot.
I think about this nearly every day (because of the mountain outside my window).
Here’s two links related to the story: Wikipedia and a more local essay.
That’s awesome and wild.
Also, are you native Hawaiian? Else how is living on Oahu? We have dreamed of it in the past, sounds delightful in many ways!
lmao the natives don’t live on the islands where that dude does
that’s a rich white dude, or maybe asian but probably white
So… Hawaiian mythology is mostly about vaginas? 🤔
flying vaginas
I firmly believe that you can judge a civilization by whether their creation myths, folklore figures, and proto-deities are all on team phallus or team vulva.
Most of the “good” ones by classical to modern standards; team vulva.
I will neither elaborate nor go dig up references because that’s work and then a reader might be denied looking up ancient stone penises and vaginas for an afternoon, and that would be tragic.
The norse creation myth involves frost-giants sucking the teats of a cow.
I thought the cow licked the ice into the shape of a giant, and then it arose.
I think that’s part of it too. First the cow licks a giant into life, and then it drinks maybe?
> hentai artists
> Polynesian mythmakers
> having no idea where the fuck a vagina ends
not true, from what I’ve seen of the hentai arts, I believe the vagina ends in the lungs.
Yea I really hate it when my shapeshifting demi-god narrative gets interrupted by anatomical errors of deities.
To be fair, nobody said that goddess anatomy is at all the same as human anatomy.
She at least has obsidian teeth in her vagina, like most people.
Those people with the cheap plastic teeth are the worst.
Not everyone cares about dental health and that’s the price of poop dental hygiene
I brush and floss my testicular teeth at least twice a day
Technically the vagina is open to the inside of the body via the end of the fallopian tubes. But then once lose in the abdomen i don’t see a route to the mouth
Well this cooter has teeth (and is a grinder we have learned) so one imagines it has a connection into the digestive system, but then if he knew that, he’d probably have known to avoid the teeth.
Also how big is said goddess? Maybe the imagery was supposed to be similar to Maui being like water. The path isn’t direct from mouth to eurethera, but maybe he can be absorbed through barriers as well.
Also… Why did we skip over how that would make humans immortal?
Also… Why did we skip over how that would make humans immortal?
Well if we knew that we’d be immortal of course!
Birth and the associated death come from going vagina -> world.
Clearly, if you go: world -> vagina, but the vagina belongs to the conceptual font of birthing life, and you exit it through where said concept eats from, you link birth with eternal feasting.
Duh.
Very logical. And the stupid birds laughed at the sight, woke the goddess and got Māui smooshed. And now we all will die. Fucking birds.
Fucking birds
Should’ve gone extinct sixty-five million years ago with the rest of their misbegotten ilk.
I mean, if you navigate an immortal vagina you must get something right?
He was banking on gingivitis vaginalis, which would let him slip into the blood stream and be carried to the lungs. Once in the lungs, right before leaving for the left atrium (where the blood-pressure is the lowest) he planned on making a small incision into the lung. From here it was just a matter of crawling up.
It said in the post: in through the vagina, out through the mouth
They probably imagined he would burrow his way through.
Okayokay, neverminding the teeth and the SA of it all… why would that make mankind immortal?
You enter into mortality by exiting the vagina at the moment of your birth. Be entering it you return to the immortal realm from which all live emerges, by NOT exiting through it, you retain that immortal status.
Sorry, I thought this was obvious. We really need to teach people where babies come from.
absolutely none of that is obvious. It’s magic mumbojumbo… and magic is not obvious. It is, by nature, mysterious…
The only thing that’s obvious is that you’re a patronizing dick. So, thanks for answering, I guess, but you’re kind of an asshole. Maybe if you fly up your own asshole, you’ll get the magic of not being one… it’s so obvious.
You should really talk to someone about whatever this is.
Why wouldn’t it?
- ???
Idk the myth but guessing it’s a stowaway tactic. Get into her body while she doesn’t know, she heads back to her palace unaware, he sneaks out in the middle of the night to get some immortality elixir.
For the record: This seems to be a specific story from to Māori/Aotearoa branch of Māui Mythology. Not the Hawaiian branch. At least as far as a quick wikipedia search can tell.
the Hawaiian one involved kamapuaa
But to the spirit of OP’s post, Disney did draw from across the various myths of Maui for the character, not just the Hawaiian ones.
Hawaiian Folklore is so fricking metal!
Just look up Tūtū Pele :)
Dont forget hiding in the bushes with the boys, catching the sun in a net, then beating the fuck out of it until it promised to slow down and give us a reasonable day length.
Yeah, looking at their museums and seeing swords with rows of shark teeth as the blade has me 100% believing this post.
no real metal in ancient Hawaiian society
Any good like link or just wikipedia which I can find myself?
Obsidian vagina teeth is one hell of a hook.
glad you asked: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q1z19p48lZU
Please, everyone knows the vagina immortality spell. In the vagina, out the mouth, mind the teeth. It’s all there in the nursery rhyme.
Ah, the classic vagina dentata trap. Always practice safer sex and check for teeth first, guys!
Vagina dentata
What a wonderful phrase!
Vagina dentata
Ain’t no passing craze.
It means no worries for the rest of your days
It’s our problem-free philosophy
Vagina dentata
What is this a doom romance novel? (the one with the spice and giant worms, not that I remember anything from it I was very young.
I think you mean Dune
