The second one is the lesser known Bob Cellini from Poughkeepsie, who had a poignant bathroom wall writing style.

A guy asked me one time if I thought I was smarter/better educated than the classically educated American founding fathers, and I was like, “You mean the guys who didn’t know about dinosaurs or plate tectonics?” Also they thought they’d finish making the government at some point and then just never did, which we’ve been dealing with for a long time now. So yeah, those guys weren’t idiots, but let’s not pretend they were special.

Oh yeah, that was a thing for a while. Feels like the same era as “eleventy-billion” and the rash of Fuck You internet recipes

If you’ve ever been on one you know that even being slightly off center is going to spill you into the water. I doubt a gator could even get on a floaty long ways like that