There’s even an episode of Rugrats about that! Not sure how credible a source that is, though…

Exposing kids, exposing themselves to kids… As long as kids are getting exposed or traumatized, Republicans are happy.

Something something laptop penis pics entered into official record

Wow! I feel so patriotic now! I can’t wait for the finale

The guy who said he doesn’t answer to us isn’t answering to us!

Yes. I was trying to make the point that everyone should treat these invasive technologies the same way they would treat someone trying to mix feces into their sugar. No one who is even mildly serious about protecting themselves or cooking should welcome any compromise on either. They’re not safe, and they’re not sane choices.

I drive a car and really appreciate your work. I hope to someday help get public transportation in my part of Texas to a point that I can say “fuck cars” and not feel embarrassed by my own existence.

Oh shoot! What happened??

There’s gotta be a compromise for how deep I can stick my unwashed poop-covered fingers in your bag of sugar. Do I not use the bidet and wipe too hard? Do I like exploring each turd in the toilet, or guessing how many pieces of corn are in each one while they’re coming out? That’s none of your business! Your only job is to decide how to tolerate my poopie fingers churning in your sugar.

I’m Jewish and my wife is Indian. For our wedding, we had to print literature for my family to understand the original meanings of swastik symbols. For her family, many visiting from India, we had to include a brief history lesson about the Holocaust and the Nazi’s abuse of this symbol.

Maybe we can get our hands on some of those Volvo lidar modules to combat all these cameras around us? “Your assumed right to record me doesn’t overrule my right to make high resolution 3D scans of everywhere I go.”

How does that even change the situation to make things safer? Are they gonna crash the drone into a suspect to diffuse a situation? Unless Flock is advertising domestic drone strikes, then the only feasible deliverables are more spying and more profiling.

My mom once ordered some Thai curry for me while I was sick, and asked for it to be made “double Thai hot.” The server thought maybe she was playing a prank on me and requested that my mom get me on the phone to prove that I actually wanted the food that spicy. I told the server to tell the chefs to imagine that they hate someone and are trying to kill them with spiciness, then double that.

That was some of the best food I’d ever eaten, and by far the spiciest until I started doing food challenges. Now I have GERD…

White guy married into a Desi family: this is the truest story I’ve read.

My wife can’t handle spicy at all, her family enjoys what they call spicy, and I find jalapenos refreshing. When we go to Indian restaurants, my wife and I have to order each other’s dishes because Desi mild is apparently hotter than white hot. One time, she managed to order my dish spicy enough that it made my eyes water. That was pretty cool.

Huh, that’s much more levelheaded and polite! I asked my uncle if his genitals fell off, because I don’t understand why he’s so concerned with everyone else’s when he still has his own to worry about.

As a panel of expert witnesses, bring in more 8-year-olds to demonstrate how to play Roblox. Add a mandatory checkbox that includes an attestation stating that the company is criminally liable and a requirement that these children must kick the entire C-suite to death.

Let’s see how binding check boxes still are, and to what degree minors are expected to process and follow their commitments.

Should I be hanged?

Only if you really want to be. Maybe you’re into that? You should probably use a buddy system, though.

I want people to find my face at the starting runway, and my skull in some field 7 miles away from where the plane landed.

Only princes do, and only when they’re super old and have ruined countless lives. After that, they’re sentenced to being treated as royalty while being addressed like a normal: a fate worse than death!

I keep considering the same thing, except only letting myself register so that I can have my own stupid instance name.