dkppunk

The only ones I don’t hoard are the ones that are basically clear plastic cups, everything else goes on a shelf in my garage to use for seedlings until they start falling apart. Needless to say, I have a lot of pots 😬

Your mistake was thinking I don’t have standards around sex, but sure, after your comments, I totally believe that you don’t call people who disagree with you about sex whores. I totally believe you 🙃

Enjoy being a prude…err sorry, having “standards”, I’m going to go have safe sex right now and then go to bed, you should try having some fun sometime 🤘

you’ve gone way too far in the opposite direction into “sex literally has no cost” which is factually wrong

🤣 I literally never said that and mentioned teaching youth safe sex in most of my comments, but you do you and stay prude dude ✌️

The very first comment I replied to opened with a man stating “What a stupid take” because a woman said she is going to teach her daughter that virginity is not some special thing that a boy can take away from her. The first comment mentions that it “needs to be with someone special”, that is putting virginity on a pedestal. It should be with someone who isn’t an asshole and wants you to have fun too sure, but they don’t need to be special. Young folks should be educated on how to have safe sex and make it fun, if they choose to have sex at all.

I am being told in comments that I am some special case or an outlier, using anecdotal data btw, because I am a woman who was not traumatized my first time having sex and I am saying sex is just sex. Even first time having sex is still just sex. And it’s always women’s virginity that gets treated this way, never men’s virginity. Men get a high five when they fuck for the first time, women get treated like we are sluts. Like there is something special about virgin women.

Treating virginity as something to be treasured that someone can take from you is exactly why women feel shamed for enjoying sex. It’s perpetuating purity culture and the idea that women are wrong because we also enjoy fucking.

Maybe my position should be more common.

And when women, like me, admit it was nothing special, we are shamed. The example is all the men trying to convince me that I’m wrong about virginity or that I’m some special case because I wasn’t traumatized.

THANK YOU! I was tired as fuck when commenting and done arguing, but this really is what his comments boil down to:

A man is telling women we are all traumatized when we lose our virginity.

I didn’t say that having sex with a new person for the first time isn’t special, I said there is nothing special about virginity itself. Sure I said it in a crass offhand way, but that was what I said.

Women are taught our virginity is this incredibly important special thing that needs to be held close and only given to that one special person. We are taught our virginity is so sacred that it must be cherished. This creates the idea that after a woman has sex for the first time, she is somehow broken or unclean. It creates a hierarchy of women who have lost their virginity and women who haven’t. You would not believe how many of my friends treated me like a slut because I lost my virginity to my boyfriend at the time, a guy I dated for over 2 years after. But because we were horny and fucked after dating for 2 weeks (something I brought up before him), that made me a whore. Just me though, not him, he got high fives from friends.

The point is, maybe we should stop teaching people that women’s virginity is sacred and teach them about how to have safe sex instead. Perhaps if we taught people about safe and healthy sex as a natural activity that many people engage in, young virgin girls wouldn’t be something that adult men thirst so hard for.

Notice it’s only women’s virginity that is held to this standard, not men’s virginity. Whether you like it or not, putting women’s virginity on a pedestal the way people do, it’s perpetuating purity culture and patriarchy. It’s another to see women as lesser than men.

Honestly, I misread this comment of yours

If someone had taught me how important it was and what things were at stake for women’s first time, I’d have done it a lot differently.

Apologies for assuming you were a woman. I didn’t catch the “I’d done it a lot differently part”.

But there is a lot of misogyny on Lemmy, ask any woman here about our experiences. That’s not sexism, that’s being realistic.

No, but I did not make the claim that most if not all women carry trauma from their first time. You did.

Like I said, I hate arguing with other women on Lemmy. We need to stick together because the misogyny is so strong here. But you were the one who generalized without evidence.

The sentiment of the post is to teach women that losing your virginity is nothing special, that doesn’t mean it should be talked about and young folks educated on what should happen. Just that it’s not special.

And I know plenty who haven’t been traumatized. Anecdotes aren’t evidence.

Edit: I don’t think you’ve talked to very many women if you’ve never met a single woman who wasn’t traumatized after having sex for the first time.

I would like a source on most if not all women experience trauma from losing their virginity. Because my experience really isn’t that special.

It was fumbling, silly, nervous, sure. But not traumatic.

I’m not going to argue with another woman just because I disagree, just know that I’m not that much of an outlier and virginity doesn’t have to be some special thing. It’s just penis in vagina or other variations of genitals that one’s satisfy sexual orientation. Not all women carry trauma from the first time having sex, I carry no trauma other than he couldn’t finish because he was nervous.

If we stop treating it like it’s something special and instead as a natural part of life, maybe people can talk about it more openly instead of treating it like it’s a taboo subject.

Edit: I mistakenly assumed this guy was a woman because I misread one of his comments. The rest of my statement still stands.

It should be talked about, in that we agree. Sex ed should include what to do, what to expect, and how to have fun as well as protecting oneself.

I am also a woman and I have no trauma from my first time. It was with my bf at the time, but it still wasn’t anything special.

Again, disagree. The average is not much younger than I was, 17 is closer to average (at least in the US). And I didn’t say it shouldn’t be with someone you care about, I said, there is nothing special about virginity.

Disagree, there is nothing special about virginity. I was 18 and horny, I just wanted to get some dick so I did.

It should at a minimum be with someone who also wants you to have fun too, but past that it’s not special at all.

Any recommendations on what country to VPN through?

Edit: Of course it’s fucking Issa that introduced this. I can’t wait for that guy to gtfo

That may make it a bit difficult!

Heck yeah! Thank you for supporting your local bee community!

You will get more edible leaves by cutting back. The taste of the basil leaves can change if you don’t cut them off too.

Or you can do what I do, realize you don’t use enough basil to justify growing it for food, then continue to grow it anyway and let the plant flower so the bees can have it. My local bees love when I let my basil flower.