Port is left (and red, same as port wine) - both words have the same number of letters. Starboard is right (and green). But that’s from the cox’s viewpoint - for us rowers, facing the cox, port is on the right. Does my head in every time.

The wheeze was to make a reverse charge call and tell the operator your name was “Itsaboy”. The call would then be declined.

Mate, back in the day there was a phone book in every home with everyone’s exact address and phone number in it. If you wanted the phone number of someone in another city, you went to the public library, which had more phone books. If the library was big enough, they had international phone books.

If someone didn’t have a phone, you could get their address from the electoral roll, again available at the library.

A lot of people didn’t even lock their doors. We did, but the key was hanging up in the garage.

Edit: my internet is unlimited - it doesn’t cost me any more to blab for an hour.

Last night my sister and I had a 90 minute conversation on our phones with full-colour, hi-res video, me in the UK, her in NZ. It didn’t cost either of us anything. We’re in our 70s, such a thing was unimaginable back in the day.

Today: yellow, turquoise, green, all in a carpark near my house.