Are you queer yourself? Because that question, “how do you know you’re right about your sexuality if you’ve never slept with [insert gender here]?”, is a very common queerphobic question that a lot of us get at one point or another, usually from well-meaning cishets who, like yourself, don’t understand that it’s actually a really shit question that is extremely invalidating.
Also, if I’m reading the situation right, you asked a bi man if maybe he is just gay, not bi. That’s a classic biphobic impulse. Bi men tend to be told “you’re probably gay and just pretending you like women”, while bi women are often told “you’re probably straight and just pretending to like women”.
So on two counts here your question was a bad question, and the people telling you this aren’t the people who need to be less sensitive, you are. You need to accept the criticism queer people are giving you and understand that you’re in the wrong here
Are you queer yourself? Because that question, “how do you know you’re right about your sexuality if you’ve never slept with [insert gender here]?”, is a very common queerphobic question that a lot of us get at one point or another, usually from well-meaning cishets who, like yourself, don’t understand that it’s actually a really shit question that is extremely invalidating.
Also, if I’m reading the situation right, you asked a bi man if maybe he is just gay, not bi. That’s a classic biphobic impulse. Bi men tend to be told “you’re probably gay and just pretending you like women”, while bi women are often told “you’re probably straight and just pretending to like women”.
So on two counts here your question was a bad question, and the people telling you this aren’t the people who need to be less sensitive, you are. You need to accept the criticism queer people are giving you and understand that you’re in the wrong here